


Helpless

by Emilygeorge37



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Major Character Injury, Malec relationship - Freeform, Medical Trauma, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-20 03:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15524850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilygeorge37/pseuds/Emilygeorge37
Summary: Alec's life hangs in the balance following his confrontation with the Owl.  Just a short fic whilst we all wait for Season 3b.





	Helpless

Helpless

Alec’s hands began to shake and his breathing became even more laboured as his body succumbed to shock and oxygen deprivation. The iratze rune had done little to ease his suffering and Magnus’ blood ran cold as the fear coursed through him. A tiny part of his fucked up brain couldn’t help but ponder the irony; he had sacrificed his magic so that the part of Alec’s soul, irrevocably linked to Jace, would not perish alongside his parabati, but in doing so had none left with which to save him as Alec’s very life hung in the balance. He was utterly helpless, lost in despair and grief.

Alec was dying in his arms, bleeding out from the wound inflicted by one of his own faithful arrows, lung most certainly punctured, heart probably too. Without immediate help Alec would die within moments, drown in his own blood now filling his lungs, and Magnus’ worst fear would come agonizingly true. He would not survive losing Alec, a soul that had merged with his own and given him back the peace and love that had eluded him for centuries. Alec brought out the very best of everyone and never put his own needs first, he did not deserve this. He was the best of everyone, and of Magnus himself, and he would give up his magic a thousand times over to save the love of his immortal life.  
“Magnus…” Alec whispered through his pained, but slightly calmer, breaths, ”I love you so much...I’m so sorry”. His body began to relax and slump further into Magnus’s embrace, heightening his panic.

Magnus shook his head and clasped his free hand to Alec’s face, whilst the other cradled the back of his head. “No, no apologies, no goodbyes, please stay with me, please Alec, I can’t live without you!” Alec gave him a small smile as a single tear ran down his face, his eyes fluttering closed as the darkness overcame him.  
“NO!” Magnus begged, beginning to shake Alec gently, “No, no, no, NO, ALEC!”

No, he would not wallow in paralysing fear any longer, he was still Magnus fucking Bane, magic or no magic! He looked around him then reached inside Alec’s jacket when inspiration finally hit. He pulled out Alec’s cell phone and dialled the one number he knew he could count on.  
“Cat, help me please!”  
“Magnus, what that hell’s happened?!” Cat replied, sensing his desperation.  
“It’s Alec, he’s hurt, he’s not going to make it, please come Cat, I’m begging you!”

The line went dead as a portal opened in the alleyway behind the bloodied pair. Cat dashed over to where they lay, eyes wide with disbelief at the arrow sticking out of Alec’s chest and the unnatural way in which his left arm fell across it.  
“He fought the Owl. Jace has been freed from Lilith’s hold, but Asmodeus made me trade my magic to do it. Please Cat, help him, I cannot lose him” Cat’s jaw clenched and she raised her hand to summon her magic. She immediately got to work assessing the damage, brow furrowed in concentration.  
“He’s still breathing Magnus, he’s holding on but we need to get him back to the institute. I’ll need to stabilise him first, call them now and tell them we’re on our way.”  
Magnus cradled Alec’s head a little closer as he dialled the Head of Security at the New York Institute. ”Underhill, Alec’s been injured, he’s in a bad way, we’ll be portaling in shortly once he’s stable. Contact the Silent Brothers, we may need them too.”  
“Affirmative, we’ll be ready” was the soldier’s reply, although Magnus could distinctly hear the shock and worry in his authoritative voice. Alec had spoken highly of Underhill and the two had been developing a good friendship, Alec trusted him, so Magnus did too.  
He ended the call just as Jace, Isabelle, Simon and Luke ran into the alleyway. Jace stopped dead as he saw Catarina sweating as she poured her healing magic into Alec’s broken form. Izzy sped towards her brother, and fell to her knees besides them.

“Alec! Oh my God!”  
Magnus could only stare into her worried eyes for a brief moment before looking back down at Alec as Cat continued to work. He vaguely noticed Simon place his arm comfortingly around Jace’s shoulders, Jace too ridged with despaired to shrug him away.  
Cat stabilised the arrow with her magic and summoned a traction binding around Alec’s arm before moving it off his chest and onto his side, all the while Alec’s eyes remained closed and unmoving.  
“We need to move, now” Cat ordered standing up and turning to the others, “Lucian, Simon, can you lift him while I create the portal to the Institute?” Before they had a chance to answer Jace launched forward and crouched at his parabatai’s side. With seemingly no effort Jace gently placed his arms underneath Alec’s shoulders and legs and lifted him off the ground in one movement. Magnus and Izzy scrambled to their feet, staring at Jace whose face was a mask of concentration and grief. Jace’s eye’s never left Alec’s face, even when Cat beckoned them all towards the swirling portal.

They stepped out onto the lawn in front of the Institute, where Underhill and a team of medics waited. Jace lowered Alec with the utmost care onto the gurney and watched, covered in his brother’s blood, as they whisked him away, followed closely by Cat and Magnus. Izzy moved to Jace’s side and tenderly held him against her as he stood paralyzed once more, utterly broken by everything that had lead him to this catastrophic moment.  
“The arrow has been magically stabilized but he has a punctured lung, tension pneumo, and possible cardiac trauma, not to mention two fractured ribs and a distal radius fracture of the right arm,” Cat yelled as the flew through the institutes corridors towards the infirmary. As they hurtled through the large double doors Magnus stopped short and drew in a sharp breath as he saw Brother Zachariah waiting patiently in the treatment area. He moved to follow once again before Underhill stepped in front of him and gently but firmly held Magnus by his forearms.

“We need to let them work now” he said gently, whilst Magnus was squirming in his grip and trying to see over his shoulders into the room now out of bounds.  
“He needs me, out of my way!” he cried out, but Underhill stood firm, his gentle and understanding eyes willing Magnus to calm and focus on him.  
“He’s in the best possible hands, and he’s the strongest man I’ve ever met, he’ll pull through, but you need to let them help him.” Magnus stared at the kind man for a moment before he sagged into his hold. Underhill walked him over to a nearby chair and helped him to sit. 

“I can’t lose him, not now, I waited so long for him, for my soul mate, we’ve only had a few months, how can I lose him now?” Magnus rambled into his hands that were now covering his face, elbows propped up by his knees. At that moment Izzy and Jace walked up to them, Izzy still holding onto her brother tightly.  
They all found a solitary space in the small waiting area, together but so alone all at once. Maryse had joined them shortly afterwards, held up by Luke who had found the former Shadowhunter and informed her of her eldest son’s condition. Her cheeks were stained with tears already and she hugged them all, one by one, before taking her own place in the vigil. A weird calm passed through the room, no one spoke, just the occasional sad smile when eye contact was made, or squeeze of someone’s had who was seated nearby. Even Jace was forced to sit when his stance in the corner of the room became unbearable. His strength was waning even if his will was not, but he refused any offer of sustenance, even after grasping at his side on two separate occasions when his parabatai rune burned an angry red color, as Alec’s pain resonated through it.

After what felt like an eternity, the door to the treatment area slowly opened and Cat walked out, exhausted and still covered in blood. Magnus jumped to his feet and ran to her, quickly followed by Izzy and Maryse. Jace simply raised his head, swaying slightly in his seat. Cat gave them a warm smile and held her friends hand tenderly in hers. Standing back she then addressed the group.

“Alec’s alive. There were a couple of worrying moments, and we had to restart his heart twice, but he’s a fighter.” Magnus felt an arm around his waist as he heard Maryse whimper next to him. Izzy exhaled loudly and held onto her mother’s free arm for support, but Magnus could not tear his eyes away from Cat, there was more to say.  
“Cat, what aren’t you telling us?”  
Cat’s eye dropped momentarily and then returned to face Magnus’s worried glare. She took a deep breath, and Magnus felt his blood run cold once more  
“ We removed the arrow but it…it was contaminated, Alec must have stabbed Jace with it first, whilst Lilith’s demon still inhabited his body and possessed his blood. The arrow, it scratched Alec’s heart and poisoned it. The poison is preventing both angelic and warlock healing treatments. We have done all we can, including connecting Alec to a pump to help his heart to beat right, but only time will tell if it can overcome the damage and beat on its own again. I wish I could tell you more Magnus, but the next 24 hours will be critical. 

Magnus felt Maryse begin to tremble by his side and he turned to see her eyes brim with an ocean of new tears.  
“Always the warrior, always the protector” Magnus murmured through lump in his throat, gently smiling at her as she raised her head to him.  
“Go to him, let him hear your voices, give him the strength he needs to fight this” Cat said, her voice steeled and braced with comfort.  
The sombre group all followed Cat into the room and Magnus instinctively moved to his lover’s side. He ran his hand through Alec’s thick hair and gasped as he felt the heat emanating from the shadowhunter’s skin. He was burning with fever but lay so unnaturally still.  
“Alexander, I’m here, we’re all here, we love you so so much, please darling come back to us” Magnus’ voice broke on the last word and the tears finally breached his exhausted eyes.

Jace, on the opposite side of the bed, reached out a hand to touch the bandages covering Alec’s broken arm. He closed his eyes, his face a mask of torment as he relived the fight, only to collapse to the floor a moment later. Cat and Izzy ran to him, Maryse frozen still with her hand covering her mouth.  
“Help me get him onto that bed over there!” Cat yelled and Luke ran to her aid. Jace was out cold with a small cut above his eye where he had collided with Alec’s bed on the way down. Cat shouted for the other medics to return and they began to assess their newest patient. The others stood back as they works, a sickening déjà vu coursing through them as Jace lay as still as Alec. Cat conjured her magic once again and began to assess her newest patient. The sweat beads formed on her forehead as she concentrated and Magnus noticed her wince one or twice as her energy ebbed and flowed.  
“He’s exhausted and severely dehydrated” Cat finally announced, breathing hard with the effort. “He must have been running on pure adrenaline until now, and god only knows what their bond is going through!” She connected him up to an IV and discussed his care with the shadowhunter medics before taking her leave from the group to rest and recharge.  
“How can I ever repay you my darling Catarina?” Magnus whispered to her as he held her hands in his own. “No thanks are ever necessary my dear friend, amour vincit omnia”*.

***

The slow beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound in the room. Not even Alec’s breath could be heard through the silence, the rise and fall of his chest the only other evidence of his continuing life. The fever had broken in the early hours of the next morning and Alec’s skin had slowly turned from pink to grey.  
“I can’t believe I said no when you asked me to move in” Magnus whispered, afraid that breaking the quiet would somehow push Alec from the abyss he was currently standing on. “Nothing would make me happier than seeing your face every moment of every day, but I was scared, scared of messing up yet another relationship, scared of letting you see all of me, still. I can’t even abide by my own advice and live in the moment, seize the day, but I’ll do better Alexander, wake up and you can have anything you want, I will give you the stars, just please open those beautiful eyes of yours and tell me it will all be ok”. 

Magnus felt pressure on his shoulder and he turned to see a red-eyed Maryse standing behind him holding two coffee cups, smiling at him before she glanced over to her sleeping baby boy.  
“You listen to what he says Alec, wake up darling, I just got you back and…” her voice betrayed her and a sob rang out throughout the room. Magnus went to hug her but she grabbed his arms and stared straight into his soul.“ Magnus I’m so so sorry, Alec has lived more in the last few months with you than he ever did in the institute with us. Your love and patience broke through the walls we created and brought forth the most amazing man. How can I ever thank you? How can I go on knowing that my kind has robbed you of not only you magic but your heart as well?”

Magnus broke free of her hold and wrapped his long arms around her. They held onto each other tightly and sobbed until all the tears available in that moment had been shed. When finally they broke apart they both looked down to Alec, any hope of a change in his condition cruelly dashed by the sleeping man and the slow and steady beat of the monitors.

“He didn’t cry when he was born,” Maryse whispered, never taking her eyes of her son, he was so quiet, just looking around and taking it all in. I knew from that moment just how special he was, I just didn’t know why. So I pushed him, harder than any of them, I pushed him to be better in every way, and he made me prouder every day, but I never told him that, I just pushed him more. All he wanted was to be loved, but I used that against him, and he almost lost himself to it. How could I do that to him Magnus, how could a mother do that to her precious child?”

“You made amends Maryse, we all make mistakes, but it’s how we chose to react to those mistakes that define us in the end, my long life has taught me that much. He loves his family with every breath he takes, and what’s important to him is important to me. We will get him back Maryse, we have to”. Magnus sagged into the chair once more, his physical, mental and emotional strength spent. He rested his head on Alec’s unbandaged hand and said a silent prayer to whomever might be listening to spare the life of his angel.

Suddenly they heard a gasp from the bed nearby and Jace sat bolt upright, grasping at his side. His head snapped around to where Alec laid and he launched himself of the bed towards his brother. The IV in his arm snapped away but Jace didn’t even notice in his hurry. Magus and Maryse looked aghast as Jace came to kneel at Alec’s bedside and starred unblinking at his pale face.

“Jace, what is…” Magnus started, before his words cut out. The hand resting in Alec’s twitched. Magnus starred at it and then to Alec’s face, but there was no change.  
“Alec, Alexander can you hear me?” he chanted in ernest, beginning to doubt that the twitch was any more than a reflex. But then it happened again, Alec’s hand contracted slightly, and Magnus stopped breathing. Alec’s eyes scrunched ever so slightly and his mouth opened a fraction as his breathing began to increase.  
“Alec, darling, can you hear me, it’s Magnus, open your eyes my love” Magnus pleaded, starting to panic as the heart monitor began to beep faster and faster.  
Jace looked to the monitor and then back to Alec’s face. He placed his hands on to Alec and in dropped his head in silent prayer, sending all of his love, strength and will through their unique bond. The beeping began to slow once more and Magnus let out the breathe he had no idea he was holding. He had never been a religious man, bearing witness to too many injustices in the world to believe in any deity. But in that moment he too prayed, prayed once more to anyone or anything that might be listening to bring back the love of his life. Alec scrunched his eyes once more, then his lashes began to flutter, small breaths escaping from his mouth.  
“Magnus?”

(* amour vincit omnia - Love conquers all)


End file.
